Release the frustration and burn some fat

I am a bit of a run-walker/walker-waddler. I actually hate running. I actually can't believe I am contemplating/actually running. But, I have managed a couple of my stylish run-walks and its starting to get a tiny tiny bit easier. So after my last post, I figured if I had all this time on my hands, what could I do to help myself. I need to lose weight, I know I do. I hate being wobbly. As I am not working and often stuck in the house, there is an option to run-walk. Its not been too bad, at least its not quite the same degree of temperature here as in Qatar and we live on a compound with a few hills and lots of green roads to run on. Getting out the house has made me feel better and a little bit more alive. The warmth of the sun and the sweat trickling down my face has made me realise I am lucky to live here, I just have to make the most of it.

So with the running underway, salads or soup for lunch and all chocolate banned - I just have to tackle the wine situation. Like I said before, one step at a time - life would be pretty miserable without wine! 

P.s I have no idea how long this will last! 

Expat life is not always rosey

I've been having a bit of a crap time recently. I've been on a downer and I can't snap out of it. I can't quite put my finger on exactly what is making me feel like this, but this place does not feel like home. Maybe I have too much time on my hands or maybe I'm not trying hard enough, but I think it's probably a combination of a lot of things. 

Last week our driver decided to quit. To be honest he's been a pain for a long time, but we have put up with him. It all came to a head last week and after us telling him a few home truths, he decided it was too much work to work for us and we never saw him again. While I am happy not to have to deal with him again, I am going a bit stir crazy stuck in the house and have had to cancel all of my plans, which mainly consist of playgroups and supermarket shopping. Driving here myself is just not an option and so I am having to take taxis everywhere. Problem is half of them hardly speak any english so its quite difficult to get places.

I am also not long back from our summer break in the UK, in hindsight this trip was probably not the best idea as it has completely unsettled me. The summer weather was lovely and seeing everything and everyone I consider normal was refreshing and so hard to leave behind again. It dawned on me that although I have been living abroad for almost 8 years, over 7 years of that time was spent as an expat in the same country and in reality it was just home from home. I haven't moved from place to place every two years, I haven't had to go out and make new friends and be the new kid on the block before, get to know new cities, different cultures and new ways of life. Yes I was an expat, but it was home. Life was easy, familiar and safe. Thinking I was a world traveller, I was really not. I was just someone with two home cities and now I feel homesick for both.

The other bizarre thing is I miss working! Yep, I just said that. Me, the person who moaned to my husband about not wanting to work, wanting to spend more time with the children, not having time to enjoy my life. Ha, yes thats me, and now I really want to work. I want to go to work every day and earn some of my own money. Maybe thats it. I want to earn my own money so I can spend my own money. I don't know, but I want to work and now I can't. However, that being said, I am almost positively sure that next week I will almost certainly be taking back that statement! 

Do you speak my language?

WHAT? You don't speak English? What kind of place am I living in?

When we moved here it never crossed my mind that people wouldn't speak english. Yep, so so ignorant.

Well, it was a rude awakening when I realised that I couldn't go to the supermarket and ask for toilet rolls aisle, as I would be taken to the washing machines. Or a simple question of 'do you sell baby monitors?' greeted with a big beaming smile of 'yes yes' (happy to have understood english) and led to the pyjamas, the list goes on. I quickly realised either I was going to have to at least improve my acting skills or bite the bullet and learn to speak Bahassa. Of course the best of intentions mean that I have now been here 6 month and I still can't offer much more than good morning and thank you.

However, yesterday I walked to the little supermarket at the end of my road, as I was paying and exchanging the usual blank looks and shrugs, while the shop keeper spoke to me in Bahassa waving the POS terminal around, I noticed the lady behind me smiling. I looked at her for help and she told me he was asking if I wanted to use some of my points to pay for my shopping. I didn't even know I had any points let alone could use them to pay for shopping, I felt so ashamed. I have been living in this country and I still cannot communicate with anyone. I watched the lady ask questions and pay for her shopping, all spoken in Bahassa and felt such a fraud. I decided I need to make the effort to learn. So here I am today, I am not going as far as to pay for a tutor, but I have logged online and I am planning to listen to my lessons in the car on the way to school or at home during my spare time, which to be fair at the moment I have a lot of.