Expat life is not always rosey

I've been having a bit of a crap time recently. I've been on a downer and I can't snap out of it. I can't quite put my finger on exactly what is making me feel like this, but this place does not feel like home. Maybe I have too much time on my hands or maybe I'm not trying hard enough, but I think it's probably a combination of a lot of things. 

Last week our driver decided to quit. To be honest he's been a pain for a long time, but we have put up with him. It all came to a head last week and after us telling him a few home truths, he decided it was too much work to work for us and we never saw him again. While I am happy not to have to deal with him again, I am going a bit stir crazy stuck in the house and have had to cancel all of my plans, which mainly consist of playgroups and supermarket shopping. Driving here myself is just not an option and so I am having to take taxis everywhere. Problem is half of them hardly speak any english so its quite difficult to get places.

I am also not long back from our summer break in the UK, in hindsight this trip was probably not the best idea as it has completely unsettled me. The summer weather was lovely and seeing everything and everyone I consider normal was refreshing and so hard to leave behind again. It dawned on me that although I have been living abroad for almost 8 years, over 7 years of that time was spent as an expat in the same country and in reality it was just home from home. I haven't moved from place to place every two years, I haven't had to go out and make new friends and be the new kid on the block before, get to know new cities, different cultures and new ways of life. Yes I was an expat, but it was home. Life was easy, familiar and safe. Thinking I was a world traveller, I was really not. I was just someone with two home cities and now I feel homesick for both.

The other bizarre thing is I miss working! Yep, I just said that. Me, the person who moaned to my husband about not wanting to work, wanting to spend more time with the children, not having time to enjoy my life. Ha, yes thats me, and now I really want to work. I want to go to work every day and earn some of my own money. Maybe thats it. I want to earn my own money so I can spend my own money. I don't know, but I want to work and now I can't. However, that being said, I am almost positively sure that next week I will almost certainly be taking back that statement!